She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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