White coat. Heels.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
