No stitches, just platelets and will power
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
