omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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