I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Less talking, more tequila
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
