She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
