hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
