her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
