That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
