Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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