I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
