Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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