i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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