I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize