Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
