Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
