Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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