I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize