A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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