My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
