phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
