Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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