we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize