He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
