She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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