she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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