hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
