I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
two words: eviction party
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
