party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize