U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
