No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
