My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
