i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
