jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
