Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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