I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize