omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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