But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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