Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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