Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize