My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
