she looked like the before picture.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize