This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
