i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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