I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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