Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
