In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize