It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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