someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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