Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
