new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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