It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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