im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
