I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
