bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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