fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
