I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
