Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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