haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
