from now on my penis is your penis
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Sober January is a disaster.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
