I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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