i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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