He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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