remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He felt like a one man threesome
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
