you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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