I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
