i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
