I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
